Why have I been absent?

Hi friends!

So I’ve been a bit absent over Christmas, and I apologize for that. First of all, I was celebrating Christmas with my boyfriend and his family, and I just enjoyed the time I had with them without thinking about too much else.

Second of all, this was my second Christmas away from home. I was really scared I would get sad, which is why I haven’t really written anything about this holiday. I was scared that if I opened up about it, I would open up for me missing my family so much I wouldn’t be able to enjoy myself. But I made it! And of course I missed them a lot, but it could’ve been way worse!

And finally, I was so unlucky. I got the worst flu on the 25th, and I’m still not feeling my best. It has been some long days and I didn’t have any energy at all. My boyfriend has been taking such good care of me, and I’ve just been whiny and clingy haha.

Being sick with the flu doesn’t really sound like it’s that bad, but yesterday I was in a really bad place mentally. I didn’t really talk all day and I just felt empty. Trying to figure out why, I realized it’s because I haven’t done anything.

Because I haven’t had any energy, all I could really do was lay in bed and wait to get better. That meant me not writing anything or working on any of my projects. It really just meant me laying there with my thoughts. And that is not good for me.

I learned that I need to be doing stuff and keep myself busy for me to feel good. It’s kind of crazy to think about actually, cause just two years ago I couldn’t get myself out of bed, it was too hard. Now, I need to do stuff all the time for me to feel better.

I guess it makes sense, and needing to do stuff is good! But I would like to get to that place where I can do both without me feeling empty and discouraged.

I hope it makes sense why I’ve been gone from the blog a little bit, and I’m sorry! I have a lot of posts to share and I can’t wait for you all to read them!

And happy new year! Hope 2018 will be the best year for all of you ❤️

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