I’m finding myself in a place where the bad days just keeps on coming. It’s hard for me to figure out why I all of a sudden hit such a low when I’ve been feeling so good. I went for a walk yesterday to try to clear my head a bit, and I figured I would just try to tell you guys what has been going on in my mind, even though I honestly don’t really know what.
I’ve had the feeling of emptiness so intensely for the past 4 days, and I just can’t seem to shake it. I feel so alone and lost, and I’ve been extremely homesick too. It’s just like being in a black hole and it’s so hard to get out of it. It’s actually starting to frustrate me a great deal, cause I feel like I can’t do the things I want to. I just don’t have the drive or the energy to do so.
The one thing that really frustrates me, is that I haven’t been writing as many blogposts as I wanted. As I talked about before, one of my goals was to write more blogposts and I really thought I could do it. But then I hit this low and I can’t find inspiration in anything. I’m finding it so hard to write.
So here I am, writing about how hard it is to write right now. I know it’s nothing much, I think it’s more a way of getting these thoughts out of my head since that’s one of the only things I have found that really helps me. Just getting them out and not letting them stay inside my mind and make me feel worse.
It’s also a way for me to let you guys know that I’m not gone. I’m still here, I’m just struggling right now. Even more so because I keep asking myself “why” I’m feeling like this all of a sudden. But I can’t keep pushing myself to find out. I just have to accept it and get through it, by opening up about it. Cause it’s okay to have these days. We all have them, and I seriously need to remind myself that.
I hope you guys will bear with me while I get back on track and start writing properly. I will try to let you in on my thoughts these next couple of days, and hopefully, it will help not only me but also you guys!